One Score and Five Years Ago..

I was born on the fourth floor of a house in a room overlooking the Lower West Side of Buffalo, NY.

Yesterday at my wohnung in Kreuzberg 36, East of Gorlitzer Park, we had a barbecue that lasted from around 4pm until 1am. People came and went but I definitely didnt get any sleep until 2 or something. In preparation on Saturday, I made a Teriyaki marinade I found on the web and proceeded to chop and submerge what seemed like a million vegetables (zucchini, mushrooms, peppers, zucchini...ok, I had lots of vegetables but not much variety). With 10 cloves of garlic the marinade was not to be fucked with. Then before people started arriving Sunday I cut up even more vegetables, bought a crate of Berliner Beer and also created the best 'pin the tail on the donkey' donkey that you could imagine. Frankly I'm not sure when I got so good at drawing equine figures, but damn. It's like I went to bed and got jacked into the matrix to learn the art of paper donkey creation.

Well, maybe not quite the matrix...but I was pleased with my donkey - especially when placed in its natural habitat. Sadly I forgot to give him ears, but kein problem! We'll just turn the game into 'pin the ear and/or tail on the donkey.' Katherine and I worked on the ears and tails and in the end came up with the some pretty sweet appendages. She definitely deserves credit for coloring the ears fantastically as well as shaping the tails really well (including a bushy bottom).

Christina and Katherine both brought cakes that bore a striking resemblance to each other. While Christina's had a sugar sprinkled and 'Happy Birthday' lettering on top, Katherine made a '25' candle using matching as the candles. All in all it was pretty great to have two birthday cakes. Here's Katherine posing with both. I'm not sure how well the tandem Christina and I have is going considering that she didn't write: "Hertzlich Glueckwunsch zum Gebortstag" on the cake, but I suppose Happy Birthday is just a lot easier.

Birthday cakes and skewers were eventually thrown to the side sans hesitation as the countdown the donkeytown proceeded. Surprisingly, everyone got into this game that really makes no sense and in our case required quite a bit of trust that the person doing the spinning wouldn't point you in the direction of the hazardous stairs. I think the trick might have been my first prize offering: a king size bag of peanut MandM's. Not just any MandM's. I bought this bag in Portland the night before I got on the plane March 13th at the Plaid Pantry on the corner of SE Belmont and SE 30th.

Surely, these were special MandM's. Accordingly Stefani was pretty pumped, Rambo style.

The contestants, I mean guests, were are follows: 3 Italians, 1 Spaniard, 2 Frenchmen, 4 Americans (including me), 1 Austrian and of course 6 Germans. After much spinning and conflicts about exact spin numbers to be required we had a pretty shaggy looking donkey and a winner. In the end, Pierre - my french buddy - won the aforementioned first prize. Second prize (a silver mini-replica of the Eiffel Tower that I picked up in Pigalle in March) was taken by Ana - a classmate at Babylonia Sprachschule. Everyone else was pretty depressed, but its alright. If their ever going to be American's they'll have to learn to taking lickings and keeping on ticking.

Ticking..I mean, turning 25 in Berlin. What a story. I'm sure there's more to it.

Kirmes im Hasenheide Park (Carnival in Hare Heath Park)

Thanks for the spelling Christina...
So, the tandem saga continues. Last week I met Christina for a trip to the Neukölln's carnival in Hasenheide Park for a little amusement park vocab lesson. It turned more into a cultural lesson as I was in turn told off, stared at angrily and serenaded.

We saw cookies with different loving messages on them (some in Turkish). I got the photo off just before being angrily told 'Kein foto.' I learned not to give the thumbs up to the guy working the bumper cars. (He really did do a sweet job parallel parking that thing though!) Apparently thumbs up can be really bad in some countries. He kind of frowned at me, walking away with his blue, but mostly white stonewashed jeans a gait that screamed 'fuck off.' On we went to the Euro Ball game (kind of looked like Skee Ball) and to "Break Dancin': The Ride." We circled back to finally relax for a little beer and a serenade...

The best part of the night was watching a 4 piece band perform classic American songs under a beer tent. With all of 6 people looking on, the leader singer - sweet toupe not to be forgotten - just belted it out. Sadly I didn't capture all of this CCR song, but you get the gist.

On Buffalo and Almost

Everyone knows that I'm originally from Buffalo, NY. No matter how far away I get I always check in on the sports teams now and then. That's just what you do as a Buffalonian. That, and eat wings. But this whole vegetarian kick I've been on for 6 or 7 years has put a damper on the latter.

The Buffalo Sabres are in trouble in the Eastern Conference finals. After being a favorite to win the championship and sweeping through the early rounds they're now getting shitted on by the Ottawa Senators.

Sports are basically the life blood of Buffalo culture, and have been since steel died. The Bills have been a huge disappointment and now the Sabres are the verge.

This article from the Columbus Dispatch tells Buffalo's story in rather poetic terms. It's not all about Ani DiFranco and Vincent Gallo. Nor is it strictly about Rick James and The Goo Goo Dolls.

Greek Fire on hold. Aber, Bombs away.

So, I have some bad news. The trip that definitely was is now that trip that almost was. Sadly, Nina has to work. Definitely lame. But on the plus side I'm going to visit Istanbul soon. I can't get the Hagia Sophia out of my head. Nor will Greek Fire remove itself. Plus germanwings is cheap.
On a lighter note (btw, if you want to ask for a lighter here you say: 'hast du feuer?' where feuer sounds like foyer...just in case you need to light a cigarette and you're surrounded by Pennsylvania Dutch), I had another tandem Thursday and it also went well. We spoke mainly English but it was all made worthwhile by one great discovery. Yes, you may have guessed it. While discussing swim class in high school I mentioned that cannonballs were the only dives I could do and that I was in the shallow end for the entire year of swim class. My partner then graciously gifted me with my new favorite German word. Yes. ARSCHBOMBE. It's not just a poop anymore - it's a cannonball.

Greek Fire...

Hello again. Seems like I'm blogging a lot lately. Well, it more than seems. I guess it's a fact. But really I had to write about this latest news.

A few weeks ago I posted an ad on Berlin craigslist for a tandem partner. A tandem is an English-German trade off involving getting together with a native speaker. Conversation follows: 1 hour German, 1 hour English, etc. Don't get me wrong here, there's still no way in hell I can speak for 1 hour in German, but I try and it works out that I get something out of the deal (who knows how much I remember), but really its an English fest.

So yesterday was my first tandem. I met Nina at the Intimes Cafe in Friedrichshain and we proceeded.

I ordered a 'milchkaffee' which came in a huge bowl. Sehr lecker kaffee. Nina is a stewardess...I forget the German word, something like Flugkellnerin. About an hour into conversing (again, mainly in English) Nina announces that since she has 2 weeks off from work for ostensibly being sick, we should take a cheap flight somewhere. Not in any kind of, "let's go off on a honeymoon way," but more of a "I'm bored, have time off and want to travel and you don't have a job or much to do with your days so..."

I was pretty shocked to say the least. Imagine sitting down to have coffee and learn some German, then having the entire list of Lufthansa destinations being offered up for visitation! Now that's a dilly of a pickle. I was flabbergasted and really couldn't think of where to go. Of course the initial reaction is: India! Africa! Venezuela! Something super exotic and far away. But we looked at those and Lufthansa doesn't even fly to such hot places this time of year plus it takes 20 hours. It seems like the options are basically: any part of Europe, Iceland, South Africa, or Turkey. Today I found myself waffling between Lisbon, Amsterdam and Istanbul.

And therein lies the genesis for this blog post title: Greek Fire. How crazy is Greek Fire? It's a lost technology that ensured the survival and success of Byzantium for several hundred years by acting like napalm and burning enemy ships. Damn. Millenia of History? Check. Hagia Sofia? Check. Is that the destination? Who knows. I'll be there monday night or tuesday morning if all goes as planned. In the mean time you can weigh in on where I should travel. Let me know.

J1J2 and Kreuzberg Massaka

wie geht's up?

j2, hey du!


and coming now, straight out of Kreuzberg 36:

May Day

Every year, on the first of May here in Berlin there is a demonstration including marching, concerts, beer drinking, tischtennis (ping pong), drum and bass and of course a little friendly night-time rioting. Katherine and I meandered over to the demo early this afternoon, making sure to finish our beer in the park next to the gathering. Apparently glass bottles and masks concealing the face are illegal.
Strolling through the park are several Polizei in green get-ups carrying shiny white riot helmets. Its quite a bizarre scene, this degree to which riot police (thank god for the 'Anti Konflikt Team') presence and fashionable, protesting young Berliners square off. It seems to have taken on a party air in the days since the late 80s and 90s when riots occurred pretty regularly. Of course we hear during the day that leftists have successfully beaten back Neo-Nazis in Friedrichshain, and as the march begins from Lausitzer Platz towards Oranienstrasse and Mariannen Platz things are pretty dull.
Trucks roll on a preordained march path down Skalitzer Strasse blasting drum and bass from huge speakers while somewhat lethargic revellers dance and follow behind. The scene almost reminded me of going to Warped Tour back in Buffalo as a teenager: lots of punks, people dressed in black, drunks with beers, the smell of marijuana wafting through the crowds. Surprisingly Sean Paul made an appearance. I suppose the main differences would have to be the rancorous speeches before the march and the banners screaming political slogans instead of skateboard and soft drink company logos. My housemate Pierre designed banners promoting the march that reminded me of the i-Pod ads that with the silhouette'd dancers.
I ended the evening at Katherine's place, far away from the hubbub of riots and broken glass and drum and bass. We watched Battle Royale and I had some yogurt.

Then, on my way home as I crossed Wrangelstrasse to Sorauer Strasse I heard a ruckus. A car drove up quickly and by the time I was 15 feet down the street (5 meters?) I heard loud yelling. I wasn't sure if the cops and protesters were finally going at it, but I was excited to see some action. I kept on my way home, away from the action, but stopping every minute or two to look around and catch a glimpse. Punch! Yell! Car door slam. By the time I saw the punch I'd decided to just go home. More yelling and it looked like someone hunched over got herded into the car which then peeled out. Pretty exciting action, too bad it probably involved some girl problems instead of some state problems - a shame on May Day - but it kind of made sense post-Battle Royale.